Tuesday, January 10, 2012
so i wanted to go to a sauna and do some swimming here in Boston, and found out there aren't any recreational centers, only gyms and the ymca. so i signed up for a membership at the ymca - being that it is cheaper. I arrived late last night to a huge, old building, circa like 1780's, many meandering canals, rusted doors, a basement pool, dark nooks and crannies everywhere - the whole experience was like that out of a horror film. so after this old 80 year old security guard with white, slicked-back hair on a leathery, stained, taut face, wearing a tight green tweed costume showed me which lockers work out of all the broken ones, I wanted to go into the sauna. I changed and went in to find this black man stretched out on the top step with nothing on but a little white rag covering what should not be seen in public, and beside him, an opened bottle of vaseline. I was a gaff at what my mind was assuming was happening here, so I sat at the opposite end, where all the cool air was seeping through the door while I had one eye open to spot any dangerous moves. After some time going in and out of the sauna and lap pool, where swim caps are mandatory, I unearthed the secret to the vaseline can. The man applies it all over his body to block his pours, aiding him to sweat profusely.