went from the ace hotel downtown portland to the banfield value inn out east. had a room, removed the headboard seeking out bedbugs, but found two used condom wrappers instead. We had to ditch it, as the front desk forgot we had a cat. they moved the three of us to room 69. there's lube all over the phone that doesn't work and a slick hand print on the table where I am typing this to you, and the fan keeps fuming terrible smells at me.